Only Friends
by Foreststar of WindClan
Summary: I thought that after that night, she would love me back, that we would grow old together and have wonderful kits. That nothing would ever separate us. I thought we were destined to be together. She thought different. She thought we could only be friends at most. Best friends maybe, but no more. And those words she told me the next day shattered my heart forever. AU


**Yes, I know I should be using this story to contribute to my 100 one-shot book, but I just couldn't wait long enough. I have no idea where the inspiration for this story came from, because I wasnt reading Yellowfang's Secret or anything. I just decided to write it.**

 **I do not have Yellowfang's Secret available, and this is an AU story, so the wording will not always be exact.**

 **So, for those who don't know, Finchflight and Amberleaf are two warriors of ShadowClan in Yellowfang's Secret. They are the mentors or Rowanberry and Nutwhisker, Yellowfang's siblings, respectively. I randomly decided to ship them together, and well, here we are! Finchflight and Amberleaf are not very well known, and are two of the characters who are added to fill in the allegiances. Honestly, before I wrote this story, I had to remind myself who Finchflight and Amberleaf were.**

 **Okay, enough of that. Enjoy!**

* * *

Her fur is like a ball of fire in which my eyes cannot be torn away from. She's talking with her brother Stonetooth, and I wish I was beside her, tail twined with hers, black-and-white pelt pressing against her dark orange one. Just think about our future if we became mates. Us together, her ginger fur melting in my black-and-white fur, our kits tussling at our paws, with all of our bravery and courage running through their veins! It would be a blessing for ShadowClan.

Oh, my apologies! I'm so wrapped up in her, I forgot common courtesy! My name Finchflight, warrior of ShadowClan, the strongest Clan in the forest! There are three other Clans in the forest: the cowardly RiverClan cats, their breath stinking of those horrid fish they eat; the prideful and arrogant ThunderClan cats, acting as if StarClan likes them best; and the worst of them all: the WindClan cats, weak cats who dig pointless tunnels and flee at the first sight of battle! Plus, all they eat are _rabbits_. Rabbits, rabbits, rabbits. At least RiverClan gets some diversity in the fish they eat, and they hunt some land animals in leaf-bare. But WindClan... no no no, all they chow away on are rabbits. Ugh, how do they stand eating the same exact thing _over and over and over?_ Even ShadowClan, with limited prey in its marshy territory and looming pine trees, eats more than just one kind of prey. We have frogs, mice, voles, lizards, rats from the Carrionplace during leaf-bare, and when the going gets really tough, toads. We have variety in our diets. But WindClan... all they have are those rabbits. Just plain _rabbits_. Nothing else. By StarClan, I'm glad I live in ShadowClan.

Anyways, back to her. Who's her, you ask? Only Amberleaf, the most skilled, gorgeous, fantastic, beautiful, charming, witty she-cat ever! Sure, she might have the sharpest tongue of all the cats in the Clans, even worse than any elder, but does that really matter? She's just stunning, and every time I see her, I think, She can't get any prettier than she already is. And every single time, I'm proven wrong. If I had to choose between her and StarClan, I know who I would pick. Amberleaf.

"Finchflight?" my brother Toadskip pads over to me, giving me a weird look. "Uh, you're staring really creepily at Amberleaf, you know that, right? Every cat has noticed how, for like the last ten minutes all you've done is watch Amberleaf. Even Amberleaf has noticed. Want to know what she's talking to Stonetooth about?"

I perk up. "Yes!" I reply instantly, not moving my gaze from her. A sigh escapes my lips. She looks so beautiful under the sun like that...

Toadskip sighs, setting his frog down and flopping onto the ground. Normally, he would be with his mate, Poolcloud, but I heard a rumor that they had a falling out and had yet to make up. "They're talking about how creepily you're staring at Amberleaf," he tells me.

"Oh." I'm temporary down, then sit up again, eyes shining as I give Toadskip a glance. "Well, at least Amberleaf's talking about me! That's a start! I'm still surprised that a she-cat like her would even notice me! I mean, she's..." I launch into a rant about how amazing and gorgeous and wonderful she is.

Toadskip sighs again and shakes his head. I have a feeling he's tuning me out, and glare at him. "Hey, I listen to you when _you_ go on and on about how fantastic Poolcloud is, or what a good hunter Ashpaw is for being only two moons into training!"

"Uh-huh," Toadskip grunts in agreement. "But that's about Poolcloud, my mate, or Ashpaw, my apprentice. _Not_ about Amberleaf, the most scathing she-cat that ever existed."

I huff indignantly, turning my back on the dark tabby. There's a moment of silence.

"Finchflight." His voice is soft. "I don't want your heart broken, that's all. Lizardfang and Littlebird don't exactly approve of you becoming their daughter's mate, and you know how much Nightclaw disliked Amberleaf. Do you want to go against our father's wishes?" _He thinks that mentioning how our dead father disproved of Amberleaf will change anything? Really?_

"I'm a warrior, Toadskip," I tell him sharply. "I've mentored Blizzardwing already, and have been a warrior for moons before that. I listened to Nightclaw's opinions, but they don't control my life. I love Amberleaf, and there's nothing he could do to change that."

"Finchflight." His voice has turned firm. "Look at me." I reluctantly turn to meet my sibling's eyes. "Amberleaf has said this many times before: _she doesn't love you._ You're determined to believe otherwise, and if you continue to try to woo her, you won't like what you find."

I swallow. There's some truth in Toadskip's words, but I won't give her up so easily. I can't. I love her, and if my heart is broken while trying to make her love me back, so be it. At least I'll know that I tried. "I have to try, Toadskip." His eyes flash with anger. He opens his mouth to growl out a retort, but I beat him to it. "Look at you and Poolcloud! You pursued her, and look how it turned out! You became mates, and now Poolcloud's expecting your kits!"

Toadskip opens his mouth again, then closes it. "That's... different," he finally says.

"How?" I persisted.

Toadskip is silent for long moments. At last, he says, "I... I wish you good luck, Finchflight. You'll need it."

I stare at him. He gave in? The last time he gave in to me... we were what, four moons old?

"You what?" I splutter.

"I wish you good luck." Toadskip returns to his frog. "StarClan knows you'll need it to win Amberleaf over," he adds in a mutter.

"I, uh... thanks," I finally manage to say. My gaze drifts over to Amberleaf; she's gathering up Archeye and Mudclaw to go hunting. When Raggedkit and Scorchkit, the three-moon old sons of Featherstorm, tumble into her path, I see her snap a sharp scolding at the two kits. They quickly backed away. I swallow.

Yeah, I'll need it.

* * *

The wind blows quietly through the pine trees, gently swaying the branches. Though the moon is bright, the marshlands of ShadowClan territory remains dark, as it should. We're not called ShadowClan for nothing, after all. I pad easily through the night, the darkness not putting me off at all. I've always been excellent at operating at night.

Beside me walks Amberleaf. It's been two days since Toadskip wished me luck, and I guess it's worked. She agreed pretty quickly to go on this walk with me, which could only mean one thing: she has feelings for me too. This thought makes my pass fizz with delight, and my pelt bristle with excitement.

"The stars are nice tonight," Amberleaf meows. She gives me a sideways glance. "Do you want to race to the Burnt Sycamore?"

I brighten. _Is this her subtle way of telling me she likes me, or is she just trying to think of things to do?_ I sincerely hope it's the former as I reply, "Sure!"

She leaps forward, and I hare after her, paws pounding against the ground. As we race, a thrill runs through me. I'm playing with Amberleaf in the middle of the night. Always the basis of love. I mean, that's how it started with Toadskip and Poolcloud, Brackenfoot and Brightflower, Cedarstar and Briardawn. After this night is over, how will Amberleaf not be in love with me, not even a little?

The Burnt Sycamore comes into sight, and I leap forward, straining to touch a paw to its base before Amberleaf. My attempts are useless, though, because the dark orange she-cat places a paw on a root well before I do. I hop among the tree roots over to where Amberleaf stands, a purr rumbling in my throat.

"Well done!"

"Thanks Finchflight," she replies, dipping her head in acknowledgement to my praise. I wind around her, placing a swift lick on her ear. She stiffens at first, then relaxes against me. _It's working! She's falling for me!_ I can hardly contain my joy.

We spend the rest of the night together, teasing each other, playing, bantering on about who the strongest warrior in the forest was. I thought it was Stormtail of ThunderClan; after all, he did manage to defeat two of our warriors in battle at once. Amberleaf claimed it was either Crowtail or Rippleclaw, as both of them had beaten Stormtail before. I argued that Crowtail had never fought off two warriors at once.

As the sun rose, and dawn drew closer, Amberleaf eventually decided we should get back to camp, to which I agreed with, slightly reluctant. I had loved the night we had together, and hoped we would have more. However, Amberleaf thought different.

"Finchflight," she says, turning to me with a serious expression. I pause, gazing back at her with hopeful eyes. Something flickers in her eyes. "I had fun tonight. Thank you for that, but..."

I blink. I don't know what she's going to say, but I have a feeling I won't like this. "Don't say it," I beg her. "Just don't. Please."

Pain flashes in her eyes. "I have to, Finchflight, or else you'll never give up your fantasy of us together."

"I... what? You... you can't..." My heart feels like it's cracking. She can't do this. I love her. But she... she doesn't... Her voice is softer and gentler than it has ever been before in her life. I know she cares about me, but...

"I don't love you, Finchflight. I never have and I never will." It's done, and the cracks in my heart widen and expand, until they shatter my heart into a million tiny pieces. Hurt floods me, and I guess it must show in my eyes because Amberleaf takes a step toward me. "Finchflight... I'm sorry." Her voice is full of regret. "We'll never be mates. But maybe, we could be friends? I like you, I really do. But I don't love you. I would be nice if we stayed friends, though."

"I..." I don't know what to say. Toadskip's words echo in my mind. _"She doesn't love you. You're determined to believe otherwise, and if you continue to try to woo her, you won't like what you find."_

 _Well, Toadskip, you were right_ , I think bitterly. The cold feeling in my heart spreads throughout my body, leeching me of any warmth I might've felt a moment ago.

When I say don't say anything more, Amberleaf moves closer. "Finchflight, I..."

I cut her off with a sharp jerk of my head and a hiss. "Don't say anything more." My voice has turned cold and hard. The warmth of my love for her evaporated when my heart shattered, escaping beyond my reach—maybe forever. I'm left feeling cold and numb inside, lifeless, without love warming every inch of my body.

"Finchflight..." Amberleaf pleads. "We can still be friends."

"No." My voice has all the cold of leaf-bare in it, and is harder than stone. She flinches. "No, we can't. If you don't love me, I never want to see you again." My ice-blue eyes meet her forest-green ones. They glimmer with pain, but I don't care. Whatever she's feeling right now, it's ten times worse for me. I loved her. She just wanted to be my friend. Inside, I tremble. I have to keep up this façade of iciness, or else I will completely lose it. I won't let her see what she's done to me. I refuse to.

Amberleaf opens her mouth, but I shoulder her aside roughly and disappear into the marshes.

When I'm a good distance away and certain she isn't nearby, I let loose a howl of grief, my shoulders shaking as I rip into the grass. Tears run down my face as I bawl like a little kit, releasing all of my pent-up anger and hurt. My breath hitches, and I curl up into a ball, shaking and shuddering and sobbing. When I've finally calmed down, I feel much better, but the huge gaping hole in my heart is so much more noticeable. I feel hollow inside with that chunk missing, and I know that I will likely never get it back.

Broad shoulders slumped, I slink back to camp, head hanging, eyes downcast, tail trailing in the dust. Blizzardwing, my former apprentice and the guard for the night, jumps up when he sees me.

"Finchflight," he says, laying a tail on my shoulder. "What's wrong? You've been gone for a long time. Amberleaf—"

"Don't say her name!" I snarl. I have to be harsh, or else my Clanmates will never stop mentioning her. Just the sound of her name brings back painful memories: her dark orange fur, her forest-green eyes, her musical laugh. The sound of her mew. Her telling me she doesn't love me...

I shake my head violently, dispelling the memories from my mind. Blizzardwing looks at me with concern. "Finchflight, I think you should go see Sagewhisker. You don't sound or look too good."

I growl softly. "Sagewhisker can't do anything for me. No cat can." And with that, I brush past him and into camp.

* * *

"Rowanpaw, your mentor will be Finchflight." Cedarstar sits atop Tall Boulder, his head raised proudly as he watches Rowanpaw, Yellowkit-soon-to-be-Yellowpaw and Nutkit-soon-to-be-Nutpaw receive their apprentice names. His amber eyes rest on me. "Finchflight, you are a brave warrior who has pushed past many troubles to remain loyal to ShadowClan." _He's talking about Amberleaf_. "You turned Blizzardwing into a fine warrior and I hope you will do the same for Rowanpaw."

I pad forward lightly to touch noses with Rowanpaw, delight swelling within me. I had no idea I was going to be a mentor again! Her eyes gleam with excitement and nervousness. I whisper softly in her ear, "You're going to be a great warrior, Rowanpaw."

So many moons have passed since that night with Amberleaf. Every time I saw her, pain would prick my already shattered and broken heart. My Clanmates know about this. At first, they tried to make us friends again, but I adamantly refused to be. Deep down, for all my frostiness, I stilled loved her just as much as when that night began, and being friends with her, but knowing it would never be anything more... it would hurt too much. So I distanced myself from her, and my Clanmates allow it. Stonetooth doesn't put us on the same patrols anymore, and we just stay out of each other's way. I can see in Amberleaf's eyes pain whenever I veer away to avoid her, but it's still nothing to the agony I harbor deep inside.

I back away and my new apprentice follows, sitting happily by my side. Toadskip meets my gaze, his blue eyes gleaming with pride. Beside him sits Ashheart, his former apprentice, and Poolcloud, his mate and mother of his kits: Foxkit and Wolfkit. I nod at him, then turn my attention back to my leader. As I turn, my gaze drifts over Amberleaf, who at that moment, happens to be looking my way. I quickly avert my gaze, and hurt flashes in her eyes again.

Cedarstar waits until we've settled back down to continue. "Yellowkit, from this moment on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Yellowpaw." He hesitates a second, his gaze drifting over his warriors. "Deerleap, you are a strong warrior who has trained many good warriors. I ask that you do the same for Yellowpaw."

"I won't let you down," promises Deerleap as she moves to greet her new apprentice.

The pair retreat, and now it's only Nutkit standing before the Clan, eagerly awaiting his apprentice name. "Nutkit, from this moment on, until you receive your warrior name, you will be known as Nutpaw." I'm curious to find out who his mentor will be—no cat knows except Cedarstar and possibly Stonetooth. "Your mentor will be Amberleaf."

Oh. Oh no. No no no. This couldn't be happening. Nutpaw's mentor was _Amberleaf_? Oh StarClan, _why_? _Why_ did you have to choose _Amberleaf_ to mentor Nutpaw? My fractured heart sinks to my paws as Cedarstar continues—but I'm not listening anymore.

We're training siblings. We have to train together. Rowanpaw and Nutpaw wouldn't be happy if they didn't, and it's expected. Siblings always trained together. It was a matter of tradition. I cast a quick look at the cat I hated and loved more than any other. She looks startled, but doesn't hesitate to pad up to Nutpaw and touch noses.

"Rowanpaw! Yellowpaw! Nutpaw! Rowanpaw! Yellowpaw! Nutpaw!"

As we yowl out the new apprentices' names, in filled with both pride of being chosen as a mentor and horror that I'm forced to work alongside Amberleaf. Toadskip seems to pick up on my feelings, and he gives me a look full of sympathy. Many other Clanmates shoot me similar looks.

I cannot believe how horribly this day has gone.

* * *

"Finchflight." I don't stop. "Finchflight, please just listen to me."

I slowly stop and turn around, but don't meet her green eyes. "What?" I snarl softly.

She visibly flinches. "Finchflight, we're mentoring Nutpaw and Rowanpaw. We have to learn to work together. Our apprentices will suffer if we don't."

I raise my eyes to meet hers squarely. A tingle runs through me. The last time we willingly and knowingly made eye contact was that night many moons ago. "Amberleaf, I don't want to work with you." At the sound of her name, something crosses her face, but there's a hint of hurt.

"Finchflight, I've tried to apologize over and over," Amberleaf meows. She steps forward. "I didn't want our friendship to die out. I don't love you"—and despite my annoyance, pain stabs me again—"and I never have or will, but I care about you and I hate seeing you hurt like this. I hate how we dread working with each other. We were once best friends. Why can't we have something like that again?"

I gaze at her silently for a long moment, as I remember the night my life changed. The night where I fell completely head-over-heels in love with her, and the night where my heart was splintered and broken and crushed. Finally, I speak, just when hopelessness begins to creep into her eyes. "That night all those moons ago, you didn't just break my heart." Amberleaf's eyes fill with emotion, and I know she wants me to stop talking. I ignore it. She continued to speak after I begged her to stop that night long ago. It's her turn to hear something horrible. "You _shattered_ it. You shattered it into a million little pieces, and then you stepped all over those pieces, breaking them into even smaller pieces. You utterly destroyed my heart after I was completely and fully in love with you, and you expect me to just forget it and move on?"

Amberleaf opens her mouth, the regret changing to guilt and horror as she realiizes exactly she had done to me. She closes it, then opens it again, before reconsidering and closing her jaws. I turn away, stoic, but my heart wrenching with every word. "I once loved you, Amberleaf. But now... I don't know. I do know one thing, though. If I can't love you, I don't want to work with you."

Many long moments of silence pass, before I hear paws crunching on dry pine needles. I test the air; Amberleaf has left. Her scent still lingers strongly, but not as strong as it would be if she were standing there. Now that she's not here anymore, influencing my thoughts, I can think clearly. I know for a fact that I don't want to work alongside her day after day, being friends with her but knowing it can never be anything more. Distance is how I cope with painful things. In this case, not speaking to Amberleaf. Usually not even looking at her.

But then my thoughts turn to Rowanpaw. It's tradition for siblings to hunt and train and fight together, and if Amberleaf and I didn't work together, that tradition would be broken. But it was more than that. They were expected to work with each other. They were expected to hunt and battle train and learn side by side. Not just that. They wanted to. And if their mentors refused to cooperate... well, then they could say goodbye to all those special moments with each other.

I turn and follow Amberleaf's scent. She's sitting, perched on a tree root. The tree root, I realize with a startled look around, that she had sat on while she told me that she didn't love me. The dark orange she-cat is watching two flowers, their stems curled around each other, so that if one was damaged, the other would be too.

"Amberleaf." She jumps up and spins around at the sound of her name. Her eyes widen hopefully as she sees me standing there. "I'm willing to work with you." Happiness fills her green eyes. "But know that this has nothing to do with you. This is for Rowanpaw and Nutpaw."

Amberleaf simply nods. Without another word, I turn and pad away. I have an apprentice to mentor, and it was well past time she explored ShadowClan territory.

* * *

Horror rushes through me, from my nose to tail-tip. I didn't want her around me, not since Rowanberry and Nutwhisker became warriors, but... I never wanted her to die like this.

A battle with WindClan had already heavily injured her. She left the fight with deep scars and a limp. She was just recovering. She wasn't strong enough to fight the Greencough. I care about her; I still love her, after all these moons. I won't leave her side until she's recovered and gone.

"Finchflight." Amberleaf's brilliant forest-green eyes stare into my own pale ice-blue ones. Yellowfang, Sagewhisker's apprentice, bustles around behind us, selecting herbs and mixing them up, but we're oblivious to her. Nothing can penetrate our bubble.

"Shh," I whisper, stroking her with my tail as she breaks into another bout of coughing. When she recovers, her face is gaunt, muscles weak and limp.

"No, Finchflight," she says. "There's something I need to tell you. I should've told you long ago, but I thought you would never feel the same again."

"Amberleaf," I murmur. "Save your strength. You can tell me after you get better."

"Finchflight... I'm not going to get better. You know that. I'm an old cat now, and weakened by those wounds, I never had a chance against this Greencough."

"Amberleaf, stop talking like that," I order. "You'll be okay."

"Finchflight, stop fighting reality," she tells me. "You didn't fight it that night, and you shouldn't fight it now. It will only bring you pain."

I swallow. "What did you have to tell me?" I already know the answer.

"Finchflight..." she breathes, "I love you. And I have since our apprentices became warriors. I fell for you during training, but never allowed myself to get closer. You refused to let my anyways. Finchflight, tell me you love me too. Please. One last time, before I go."

"You won't..." My protest withers away in my throat. I know the truth. I love her. Even though she shattered my heart moons ago, I have always been in love with her. Nothing could change that. "Amberleaf." I see in her eyes a flare of panic, like she's worried my feelings aren't the same. I lean forward and rest my cheek against hers. "I love you," I whisper in her ear. "I have never stopped loving you."

She relaxes. "Thank you. I can go to StarClan in peace now."

I close my eyes briefly, then climb into the nest with her, curling around her trembling form. Even when she erupts into another coughing fit, I don't flinch, only nuzzle her and lick her cheek. "Sleep well, my dear. I'll be here in the morning."

"Good night, Finchflight." Amberleaf's eyes drift closed. "I love you."

I purr. "I love you too, Amberleaf."

We fall asleep as one bundle of ginger, black, and white fur. All those moons ago, this was what I wanted. After countless seasons, I finally got my wish.

That morning, when I wake up, all I want to do is curl up and die. Amberleaf passed away in the night, and I could not imagine a world without her now. A world without my love, with Amberleaf.

But she was never coming back.

* * *

A moon passed before I finally died peacefully in my sleep. I had retired and become an elder several moons ago, and I died before Brokenstar came to power, before I had to live through what he put ShadowClan through.

I simply closed my eyes one night. I never opened them again, and my body was buried beside Amberleaf's. When I finally awaken in death, I find myself in StarClan, and I see countless cats coming to welcome me. Me, Finchflight, an ordinary warrior and eventual elder of ShadowClan. I see my father, my mother, my brother. My old leader and my mentor. I see so many cats that mean so much to me, and yet, none of them compare to the warm feeling I get when I see her again. I step forward.

"Amberleaf."

"Finchflight."

And those two words have all of the warmth of green-leaf in them.

* * *

 **So, what did you think? I know I say that after pretty much every chapter or story I write, but what else am I supposed to say?**

 **If this story inspires you to write your own little story about a character made to fill in the allegiances, like Finchflight and Amberleaf were, then yay! I'm glad, and I first wanted to do this because of KatieK101, a really amazing author who loves writing about characters like Finchflight and Amberleaf.**

 **Anyways, thanks for reading, and see you next time!**

 **—Forest**


End file.
